=alone again (naturally)=

i quit my beloved job today, and it may seem i did it for no good reason.
i don't a have a secured new position with a higher salary.
and no one really bangs my door, eager to offer me one.
why have i done it?

it was an emotional decision, which is unusual for me.
but emotional doesn't mean wrong.

i invest a lot in my work.
you could even say i kept it runnin' on my soul' flame.
i pride myself on caring a whole lot about my work.
i'm more emotional about my work than i'm about my love life.
emotional decision was valid.

what gives happiness at work?
- growth.
work must push your limits, broaden your vision, stretch your talents.
- clarity.
clear goals, clearly laid out rules, clearly drawn line of responsibility.
-  unambiguous assessment
don't throw words like "you failed everything" every damn time,
despite whatever we've achieved.
- control
just give me the damn control about what i do!
let me make my fuckin' decisions!
i'm good at it.

and two weeks ago i looked around myself, and noticed that there's no more fun in my work,
there's just monotonous trying to break through cordon of not-interested, while having close to none authority and being held responsible for not my decisions.


what sealed the deal for me through, was a minor detail; idle, random talk.
i was told that i DON'T care about my job.
and instantly i was tempted to STOP caring for real.
it was like having a key stone removed from it's place.

if i DON'T care - i wish you can find someone who DOES.
and i'm excited to see you top my "everything is failed"-achievments.