.summary

i've hurt my leg on monday and i'm to be stayed at home for 2 weeks at least.
my mother when being told about my situation replied that it would be a "great time for thinking and acknowledgement"
i cracked laughing out loud - couldn't help it really.

but i must tell - she was fuckin' right.

been triying to put a finger on the source of my uneasiness since yesterday and this is what i have:

the truth is i'm afraid of depending on other people and being let down by them.
so i had severed all connections of any kind i'd had in last years.

i'm positivly surprised that there IS one person to do a bit of shopping for me in a nearby shop, but i still unmistakably hate my dependence on him in this matter.


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мысль что в случае чего мой труп найдут примерно через месяц не довлеет над моим сознанием, но постоянно обретается где-то на бекграунде.

from twitter; 2:02 PM Mar 10th from web